Death is a strange beast. A beast that I think most of us don’t give much thought until we are confronted with it personally.
Vast majority of the time we don’t know when we say goodbye to someone if it will be the last time we see them in this fair life time. Even if both parties continue to live out an entire life span, you may say goodbye to a dear friend one day and your paths may never cross again. Sure social media makes it easy to peep on what people are up to, but people come together and grow apart, move away and never come back, and sometimes suddenly they get taken from us.
December 11, 2017 I got a phone call at 6am informing me that one of my dads best friends Kevin Pitkin passed away the day prior.
Kevin was the kind of person who added value to everyones life that he touched. A soul so beautiful that it makes you question the whole world and its existence because it just doesn’t seem fair for him to have been taken so young.
This news was soul rocking, while I haven’t seen Kevin Pitkin in many years, this man was around for my entire childhood. So many of my fondest memories growing up were family BBQ’s at Kevin’s house. The man sure knew how to work a grill.
As I grew up every time we went to his home or he came to ours I was sure to be greeted with a jolly, “Hey peanut!” and a huge warm welcoming hug.
He was like an uncle to my sister Ashly and I. And his three sons Jeremy, Shane, and Jimmy are like brothers.
Adult life has taken us all in our own directions and very rarely do we connect. A family reunion is certainly in order.
Considering it is an unavoidable experience, finding healthy ways to cope with death is important. I haven’t quite figured it out yet, but I know that writing and sharing my writing feels very therapeutic and healing to me and thats why I am sharing this.
When I got off work last Wednesday, I sobbed like a big baby East bound on hwy 50. I kept thinking about the post that I had seen Jimmy put up on Instagram. It was so beautiful that I am just going to re-post it…
“Yesterday heaven received another angel. My dad left us but I know that he will always be there to watch over me, I couldn’t have asked for a better father, you raised me into the man that I am now and I will bring you with me everywhere I go for the rest of my life. I promise to keep you proud. Thank you for the amazing life you have given me and everything you have taught me along the way. I hope you never feel a drop of pain ever again. I love you more than anything. You’re my rock, my dude, my idol. RIP Dad. 8/31/59-1/10/17”
Our time here on earth is finite, I was reminded of that last week when Ashly called me letting me know you had passed. I wish I knew the last time I saw you it would be the last time I ever saw you. I would have made sure you knew what a positive roll you played in my life and given you a much better hug.
I almost quit teaching my only current yoga class this Thursday. I was feeling so emotionally unstable and angry at the world and like I had nothing to offer. I thought if I showed up I might just lose my mind right in the middle of class. My Uncle Kevin was gone and the last thing I felt like doing was leading people through a peaceful yoga session. With a supportive talk from a friend and realizing you would probably kick my butt if you found out I threw in the towel. I got there and the class was no joke 4 times its usual size and everyone was so grateful. I feel like in that moment you taught me that even when things aren’t right in my world I can still show up, and be effective and help other people.
I am so thankful for our countless get togethers at your home. Sending you all my love forever and always.
Karissa aka Peanut